Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket?

I went to my new school today to finish handing in forms and clear up the massive amounts of confusion I’ve been experiencing with financial aid. Afterward I found the university bookstore and went in, as I always to, to write down ISBN numbers before running home to buy the books. It was strange entering the lone bookstore on campus that contained only a few aisles.

It was standing there in front of the shelves that I realized I had no idea where I was. I mean, buying books is all so familiar, but I was no longer at the University of Illinois. I was somewhere completely new–somewhere totally unfamiliar. It was in this moment that I nearly cried. It was Sandy’s first day of school today. I wondered what she was doing, how she was feeling, in school…but yet in a place that neither of us consider home. Until now my existence at this school could manifest itself only in paperwork…something about buying books made it a complete reality.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket?

  1. Paul

    John Cardinal Cushing said:

    “If to live life is to change, then to live life fully is to change often.”

    Cherish these moments, even if they are overwhelming. What a wonderful life you live.

  2. Ruth

    Here’s the good news… with a bit of time that tiny little bookstore will be just as familiar.

    I know that in reading your post I could see in my minds eye EXACTLY where you were. Because after all, to me that is someplace that I (even after all these years) consider a kind of ‘home’.

  3. Allan

    I know what you’re saying. I am feeling completely uncomfortable going back to school. To be doing math again and being around “math people” is so completely different than what I’ve been doing. I have this weird feeling in my stomach and am sooo nervous.

    But it’ll all be worth it in the end.

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