you know that they know

When we break up with someone there is often this strange divide that occurs among people.  One probably discussed or at least mentioned it to  close friends and roommates, but for people on the outside–those who we often see but do not share the intimate details of life–a breakup goes unmentioned.  The thing is, within a week’s time everyone knows that you have suffered a loss.  They are all talking about it,  sprinkling it amid their conversations.  And you, no matter whether the breakup was a good thing, or one of your greatest heartaches, you know that everyone is talking about it.  You know that they know, yet they don’t say a thing.  Not that you want them to.  Not that you want to tell them what your heart is doing–or not doing, for that matter.  There is this great divide.  They are trying to avoid the elephant in the room.  It wasn’t that your significant other was your whole life, but they were a big part, and no matter how the breakup went you are still feeling a huge shift.  Usually we talk about huge shifts with others, but there is something about a breakup that goes unmentioned–as least to you.

This is a trend that I’ve noticed over the last few years.  It bothers me to a great extent.  I am putting something out there, take it or leave it.  When such situations occur, I suggest something along the lines of, “I know you’re going through a lot right now.  Know that I’m praying for your peace.”

It is as simple as that.  You’re not telling them you’re willing to be a shoulder to cry on (although it at least provides an invitation if needed).  You’re not saying that you feel sorry for them or that life is sucks.  You’re simply acknowledging the divide.  Saying that you know.  Something big is happening and you aren’t going to ignore it.


1 Comment

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One response to “you know that they know

  1. phampants

    i hate the elephant. sometimes, i wish i could call on Fr. Victor so he can kill that elephant.

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