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I woke up in a surprisingly good mood today, all things considering. But now that I'm going to tell you this story of part of the reason yesterday was so crappy that mood might go away.

I my Pop Culture class we're discussing music videos and the affect they have on us, particularlly, the sexualization of women. We watched this movie called “Dreamworlds 2” in which it discussed how women of music culture are always potrayed as sex objects, desiring a partner and horribly displaced if they don't get one. Therefore, the men are few and have thier pick because women need them so badly. The start of the film had a disclaimer stating that there were “extreme sexual and sometimes sexually violent images” in the film and that viewers should feel as if they can leave at any time. Me: “Ok, whatever, its not like I've never seen this on TV before.”

SO the movie starts and it keeps flashing images from videos. Not to sound totally sick, but at first it was kinna hot because, well, they are sexy images so you could say they were doing their job. Then the redundancy and over-the-topness just got to be funny. Then it moved on to sexual violence. This section climaxed (seriously, no pun inteneded) with a scene from the movie “The Accused” in which a woman is gang raped in a bar to the delight of the on-looking men. This image was overlayed with a Billy Idol video in which men fight a women as the other look on with the same expressions as that of the men from the accused. I kinna got the point in the first minute–but the scenes continued, and I became more and more distressed as the woman continued to scream and the men continued to rape her, one by one.

I wanted to leave. I was in the middle of the row. Then I wanted to cry. Then I just felt sick, but couldn't look away. I was awful. I didn't think stuff like that bothered me, but I was wrong. We all left the room in shock. The movie had gotten its point across, very well in fact, but it was not ok. I'm still not ok.

I've never been a victim, but, Oh. God.

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