So the guy that I've been discerning having a relationship with tells me today that he doesn't want to move forward anymore. I'm just not the right one. I completely and totally 100% respect his decision and the way in which he handled it–but that doesn't make it any less hard. Even though there was no relationship there to begin with, I still feel like I've done something wrong or I've been rejected yet again. I know in my heart of hearts that this isn't true, but the wound has still been opened ever-so-slightly. I think that the hardest part is having an idea in your head, and growing with it, and then having to get rid of it and live life as if it had never happened.
On a more uplifting note, the FOCUS Leaders Weekend was helpful in getting new ideas and excitement and some serious fellowship with Rosie, who I've come to adore.
After the game, Sara came to my room and told Sandy and me that they were going out to look for the riot. We walked through the empty quad to Green Street where it looked like the block was full of drunkards and amusing people. Suddenly, the people started to come toward us and moving to the quad. We stepped aside to watch what looked like a block of people, but turned out to be about 7 blocks of people. After watching the crowd pass for a while, we joined in and ended up at Follinger screaming for the shear joy of hearing people respond to our cries of “Number 1!” or “I-L-L!”. Andrew got reprimanded by a policeman for climbing a tree (the very tree that a friend of a friend had just peed on). I favorite was the people who dared to climb to the Follinger windows. The steps and quad were covered in screaming people. Its was so fun. I was so much more entertaining than anything else I could have done tonight.
On another sad note, the Pope has passed. I am mourning, but am also happy to know that he is so much closer to Christ. He was an amazing man, aside from being a revolutionary pope–he had a heart that loved beyond reason.
I'll be okay fans, I always am. It just might take a little bit. I'm just waiting for that next door to open.