Goodbye Ms. Beasley.

Went to visit Lynn today. The Marines are sending her to Japan on thursday and she'll be there for over a year. Its so hard for me to think about. Being in the Army. Joining the service. A person leaves, and might never come back. (On a side note, this is not a message promoting or going against war. Its simply a testimony of my internal thoughts)

Ok, so perhaps this sounds lame, but my dad and I watched The Last Samurai a few nights ago and it got me thinking. Now, I know its only a movie, but hear me out. In war, men (and women) put themselves on the line in order to fight for their country. Every man that stands at the front of the battle field has a story to tell and a soul to keep. Personally, the thought of being in the front line in movies like Troy, Braveheart, The Patriot, or The Last Samurai makes me so nervous just to watch–I can't even imagine men doing this in real life. They are putting themselves out to die horribly painful deaths, and for what? For pride, dignity, for love.

Do I have this type of determination? Could I risk my life for my country? I am only one person–could the loss of my life make a difference? Perhaps its something one learns.

But what about the militia men who fought in the Civil War? They had little or no training and were still willing to stand at the front line as bullets were fired straight at them. They'd left their young wives and families at home in order to die for their country. Although its much different today, I see many similarities, except for the fact that there is perhaps less pride for the United States of America as there once was. So, what makes people want to be enlisted?

Sometimes I feel the call to join the service. But then I usually end up realizing what a wimp I truly am. Sometimes I think that it can't be much worse than drum corps, except for that whole combat thing. And another thing that keeps me home is my family. It would break my mom's heart and give her an ulcer the size of Texas if I left. I'm pretty content staying home and getting an education. I think I'll get married and have some babies, without ever having to worry about trudging through Iraq with a gun on my shoulder.

But will I ever experience determination, pride, and passion like the men and women that fight for their country? I yearn for it, but it scares me to death.

To all the men and women who are doing their duty, I salute you.


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