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So, I just got back to my room.  I was at Relay for Life all night.  I'd like to tell you I made it through the whole night without sleeping, you you all know me better than that.  But I will tell you this–it was freezing.  Ergo, it wasn't good sleep.

Overall, the event was pretty amazing.  Between some 160 teams over $160,000 was rasied for cancer research.  It was really inspiring to see all the survivors there too.  Sometimes I forget how amazing my friend Lisa Walters is until I experience moments like that.  What a hero. 

The last few days certainly haven't been the best.  A million things are wrong.  Mostly, I'm trying to overcome something that has left me feeling abandonded.  I'm so sad and angry at the same time.  I can always tell there is something wrong with me when my inner monologue starts cussing, which of course, causes me to pull out the mom card and say, “Katharine, where did that come from?”  Mostly, I'm too independent and too proud to seek help.  I spend too much time concerned with myself to take the time to help others–a horrible trait of mine.  This, of course, causes my other relationships to slip.  I miss Johnathon dearly, but I am to wrapped up in my own world to do something as simple as go and sit by him at meals.

Also, where is Ryan?  I emailed him a few weeks ago, and called him at Easter, and again a few days ago.  He picked up this time, but immediately said, “I can't talk right now.”  Hasn't called me back yet.  I pray everything is ok.  I sure do miss him.  Anyone driving to Kentucky soon?

I did want to mention that on Thursday one of my Crop Sciences guys asked me to his place to watch a movie with a bunch of his friends.  I was finally able to formally meet his girlfriend, (and her twin!)  which was nice.  But here's the best part.  He made popcorn.  No, seriously, he MADE popcorn–he grows popcorn and sells it locally at home.  Dang it was good stuff.  And you know what a sucker I am for popcorn.

I'll be around if you need me.

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