The last time we met

First of all, I have changed to LiveJournal because I discovered that only xanga users can leave comments, but unfortunately, not all my friends want to belong to xanga. And I like hearing from my friends, at least to know that they're still out there and care enough about me to spend a few minutes reading an update.

It has been so long since our last corresponance. This saddens me. I am so busy lately, with something weighing heavily on my schedule (more on this later). I'm just going through the motions I guess. Let me begin with last week, the week of my birthday. I had gone home for the weekend and was a little disappointed in the lack of celebration by my family. Oh well. I started getting packages on Tuesday from my mom. Of course, I didn't open them until my birthday. Wednesday was really just like any normal day. I was really excited about the birthday chem quiz. (did I mention I am very sarcastic?) I had a ton of IMs from friends wishing me a happy one when I got off work and while I was opening my presents from the day before the girls on the floor brought that day's mail and sang me that familiar birthday tune. I got a lot of random things from my mom and some beautiful cards from friends and family. But my favorite gift of all was fresh flowers sent by my dad. They were amazing–tulips, lilies, irises–in every color. Wow. I'm not sure I've ever fallen in love with an inanimate object before, but I was seriously in love with these flowers. I couldn't stop looking at them. Thanks dad.

I wasn't able to go to BW3 that night–surprise suprise. I had been looking forward to my birthday dinner for weeks, but of course God had other plans. Andy and Cory had tests that night and wouldn't be leaving for dinner until about 8pm. There was no way I'd be able to make it back for Kmass. So I went to Kmass. They prayed for me 🙂 Andy came over later though and talked to me until I was practically asleep. I guess that made the lack of BW3 ok.

Hey, I can go to the bars now. Ready…set…go.

That weekend I was supposed to go on a retreat, but about an hour before I left I realized that I didn't really want to go. So I didn't. Allison drove over from Millikin and we had dinner at Za's and went to see a really dorky movie that we both loved because of the company we were in. Had I seen “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” with anyone else I would have hated it. But Allison makes everything better. We came back here and went to bed (hey, I have 3, I can have friends over whenever I want). We were too tired to even have girltalk. Quite unusual for us. I pray things are getting better with your roommate, Allie!

I had a lot of little projects to work on last weekend that needed to get done and it was really nice not having a set schedule, so over all I think skipping the retreat was good. Also, and mostly, a friend was in dire need of someone to help him through troubles with a significant other all weekend. I wouldn’t have been there for him had I been on the retreat.

This week was crazy busy–but not so much homework–it was just stuff to get done and meetings to attend. And more than anything, knowing that an at least an hour of practice everyday in preparation for this weekend was needed. That was pretty stressful. Of course, no BW3 this week. There was a meeting about the Library Science program at 7 and I didn't want to guys to have to make plans around me. On the positive side, I am SOO excited about grad school now. I can't wait to be a librarian. 🙂 I did go to Stake and Shake with Cory, Andy, and Chris after a pro-chief rally later that evening.

Might I just add that after living here for almost 8 months I still suck at the bus system.

We attempted to go bowling Thursday, but being unsuccessful in getting a lane we went to Taco Bell instead. Not like things were any faster over there…. Mike also came over that day, because it was March 11 and he turned 19!!!!! I needed to give him is present.

Last night I cleaned my room, drummed, and chilled to get ready for today's audtion. Yeah, the room was so messy. Insight into Kate: messy room = messy life.

I sucked it up today. I was cut from the Illini Drumline. Not much I can say. I'm disappointed, but I know that God has other plans for me. I went into it knowing that I could get cut, and I suppose i was just too overconfident. Hopes set too high. But its not like I was the only person that played a part in setting them there. Its nobody's fault. As much as I'd like to make excuses, corps taught me not to. I just wasn't prepared on that piece–and thats a fact. I admit it. No excuse for not being ready, either. But, I accept my fate. There is no one to blame. Its just hard to shift the mindset when you're so used to thinking that you know the way something is going to happen. Oh well. Thanks to all who were there for me today–Angie, Mom, Ryan, Andy. God's got other plans, he always does, and I accept that–but it doesn't make me any less sad.

So here I am, back to my life of being a hermit. Of course there is a party tonight, but I thought it better for me to not go. I'll just do something productive instead like write about my enthralling life and get some much needed sleep. Sleep, a place where “nothing is in motion and I'm satisfied. No disappointment 'till I wake up.”

One last comment before I go: “Kate, I’m not quite sure how I’d make it through school without you anymore.” Thanks. Thats one of the nicest things I’ve heard in a while.

Happy Go Day 81. Over and out.


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